Today was............ bleargh
Games sounded a whole lot better online than in person, so that sucked. Chinese tutor showed up early so I was still asleep (yeah I wake up at the last minute ok)
BLEURGH my flu isnt any better. I feel like I'm drowning in snot half the time so yeah. And I can't afford to miss school anymore, so whoopdedoo.
Sigh. I dunno. I just need to get out of this rut I've somehow managed to drive myself into. All I do is eat, go online, try to sleep, go to school, and try to THINK about doing work. Icky. And on top of that people leaving things changing blah blah blah blah blah. Just not my year. I guess it doesnt help me to concentrate on my work when my loves arent around ( as I hoped ) but just makes things that much worse. Plus having to see that guy everyweek and not talk to him cause, I dunno.Cause He said not to, can we just be friends (isnt that what we were?) I cant handle this, I'm not ready for you I want to be fair to the both of us, I cant give you full commitment blah blah blah blah. SHEEEEESH I dont need your 100% retard, I just need YOU. Just say you got no time or you found out that you dont actually like me after all. Thats always how it works out anyway, isnt it. I hate this limbo we've been thrust into, where yeah we're friends, WHO DONT TALK AT ALL CAUSE ITS SO BLOODY WIERD NOW after the first week where it was ok. Can we just go back to where we were before? I know its probabaly too late now, but if you ever see this, can we please just be ok again? I hate the way we just dont talk cause we're so afarid of falling for the other. I wish I told you that ; yeah, I'm a heartbreaker, but I won't hurt you, Sweetheart.
ARGH ok just ignore the paragraph if youre from my school or church. Its just one of those wierd things that gets laughed at cause the person its intended for will probabaly never see it, and the writer is being stupid why cant she just tell the person whom it so concerns. I tell you its cause I'm a bloody coward, and cause I'm also me. Thats the way I am. I'm sorry. If you dont like the way I write, dont come here. DUHH. Ok now leave me alone to do my work and feel sick and try not to die.
Unless you live in a different country from me, or your initials are A.C.
bye.
